A shocking expose on the factual (in)accuracy of Public Enemy’s epic ‘Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos’

Dear readers of these hallowed pages. In it’s previous guises this blog has been a home for advertisements, and a platform for advice to be distributed to the sick, the needy, the depraved and of course the disabled. I come before you today with a much more serious matter in hand. I ask only that you keep an open mind, for the evidence I am about to divulge is almost certain to shock and disturb you.

I believe the epic Public Enemy song, ‘Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos’ contains large scale fabrications, and may not house even the tiniest shred of truth within the gleeful 6minutes 23seconds it exercises control over our eardrums.

The contention a rap star may not stick entirely to the truth is certainly a new and shocking idea, but please, before setting my house ablaze, dragging me out of my truck and physically assaulting me with a brick or whatever violent crimes you people may desire to perpetrate to my person, hear me out.

Mr. D claims to have received a letter from the United States government. The contents of this letter pieced together by Mr.D’s aural testimony are as follows:

Dear Mr.D,

We are suckers. We want you for our army or whatever and picture you giving a damn.

Yours sincerely,

The Federal Government of the United States of America

This, to me, seems a highly unlikely correspondance. While I have no doubt that the US government are suckers, making such a self-depricating remark, in an official correspondance seems highly improbable. I also believe the slang Mr.D claims was contained in the correspondance further damages the credibility of his histoire. While the US take on English is certainly a dumbed down version of our fine language aimed at facilitating conversation between the gun-toting racist hicks who comprise much of ‘the land of the free’, the degree of slang allegedly included in this letter seems extreme.

I hope we can find the strength to move on from this shameful episode, and that upon reading my expose Mr.D would have the courage to admit the blatant fabrications I believe I have exposed.

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~ by crustypissflaps on April 23, 2008.